With Valentine’s Day soon approaching, love is in the air. People send flowers, give chocolates, and exchange gifts with those they care about. But love in the English language is just that: love. We use the same word to say how we feel about pizza and hot wings as we do to tell the Lord God of Heaven how we feel about Him. But not all languages are so general. In fact, in 1960 Christian author CS Lewis did a deep study of ancient Greek for a set of radio talks he did. From that series, he wrote the book The Four Loves. In it, he explored the idea that human beings can feel different kinds of love depending on relationships and situations.

The Four Loves

Storge Love – “Affection”

Lewis calls it the humblest of loves. Storge love exists between family members and spouses. It’s the love between parents and children, a man and his dog, and old friends who have been together so long that they feel comfortable. It’s inside jokes, faithfulness, and seeing the best in someone despite the flaws. 

Phileo Love – “Friendship”

He describes Phileo love as the “least necessary” of all the loves, the least biological, because humanity can technically survive without it. It’s the kind of love that is about something. We find companions with whom we share interests (whether hobbies, religion, or conversation, etc.) and then from there we are drawn to the ones who “see the same truth” in life that we do; they get us. For Christians, God is often the Matchmaker. Just as He has chosen each of us, He often also chooses our friends that we may strengthen each other in trying times.

Eros Love – “Romantic”

Eros is healthy, sensual love between a man and his wife. It’s a desire for a particular person, not a sexual act. (Mere lust is referred to as Venus, not Eros). And that desire goes beyond the momentary. In fact, it is strong enough to withstand poverty (or riches), sickness (or health), and worse (or better). It’s total commitment and a bond that holds when people put the effort in to keep it.

Agape Love – “Charity”

While the other three types of love might be natural, Agape goes beyond the natural to the supernatural. It’s a love that isn’t based on someone being lovable. In fact, in spite of all we have done, God loves us because He is love, and He expects His children to do the same. We must forgive, tolerate, and patiently want the best for others just as God has done for us. Agape love is the highest and most sacrificial love that rises above our own capability and taps into God’s great love inside us.  

“Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.”

1 John 4:7-8

Give Ducks to the Four Loves of Your Life

This Valentine’s Day, duck your family members (Storge), a good friend (Philio), or a new love (eros). Take time to share the love of Christ (Agape) using this handy tag attached to ducks with “Jesus Loves You” on them. Happy Valentine’s Day!